Drunk Souls
by C-Hablerie
Summary: There are a lot, and we do mean A LOT, of things you can do while drunk of your gourd. Most of it lost to you. Finding out you've died and entered the afterlife... that one's a doozy. "Could go for a drink right about now..." Rated T for canon compliant violence, swearing, asshattery, and alcoholism.
1. Chapter 0

**Chapter 0 – The Prologue: Don't Drink And Die!**

"For some people, the answer to life's mysteries lies in the profound understanding of others. For some, it's understanding in themselves. Some fancy that it's in the sword, or maybe on a petal of a wildflower. Why, some say that there is no answer at all! Isn't that quite something?

"You wanna know what I think?"

"I think you've had more sake than you can pay for," a man with irritated, squinty eyes said.

"Huh- oh, right! Gimme a bottle to go, won't cha, buddy ol' pal!"

The man clicked his tongue in annoyance, placed a white ceramic bottle on the table and held out a hand, palm up. The person of his umbrage blinked at the palm before a realization flashed through his inebriated brain.

"Oh, I see what you're getting at!" A moment later, the man was holding a full cup of sake on his palm. The man could only stare, wide-eyed, as the other guy snatched the bottle and was already waddling out the door. "Have one on me! Never let it be said that ol' Seinaru leaves a buddy dry!"

"H-hey, get your drunk ass back here!" the man barked, but to no avail. The drunkard was already gone. "Tch," he scoffed and spat on the floor. "Fucking no-good _ronin_ scum."

Said ronin was stumbling down the road, across the small peasant village, the name of which he didn't know. Or couldn't remember. He couldn't quite be sure which, if not both. Seinaru shrugged to himself, for no particular reason, carrying a faint smile on his lips as he took a good, long swig from the white bottle he held in one hand, his other resting lazily on the handle of his sword.

"Aaah," he let out a satisfied breath, cheeks flush in an overt show of his intoxication. "If there's somethin' better than sake durin' twilight, I ain't so sure it exists."

He kept trodding onwards without any specific aim. Seinaru was vaguely aware of the looks given his way as he passed along. Being looked down upon for being such an overt drunkard was very 'meh'. Being very obviously a shoddily dressed ronin was just something extra to the package that was Seinaru's being. Still, despite the obvious judgment sent his way, Seinaru kept smiling contently.

Amidst another good swig of sake, the distraction, compounded by his drunken stupor, he did not notice someone coming around a corner of a building until he stumbled into them hard enough to knock them onto the dirt.

Or so it would've been if Seinaru was your usual drunken slob.

With speed and precision unbecoming of a man of his level of drunkenness, Seinaru smoothly spun and gently grabbed hold of the back of who he realized was a young woman, stopping her fall with only a slight 'eep' from the woman.

"E-eh?" The woman blinked, seeming confused.

Seinaru helped the woman regain balance with a gentle shove. "Mighty sorry there, miss. Must've not been seein' where I was goin'."

"O-oh!" the woman mumbled, bowing slightly. "N-no, I apologize. I wasn't paying attention, and I-"

"Now, now," Seinaru held his hands up placatively, careful not to pour his precious sake into the ground as he eyed the woman up and down with more care than was necessarily appropriate. Something caught his eye. "Wouldn't feel right, for a messy drunkard like me to accept apologies from an expecting woman. Not at all."

"I... you can tell?" The woman said with a quizzical frown, looking down at her quite basic clothes that should've served to hide a slight baby-bump that was very hard to notice without really paying attention.

"Eh, call it a hunch," Seinaru waved the question off with his free hand, shooting the woman a gentle smile and a wink. "And don't worry, it can be our little secret, if it pleases ya'."

The woman gave a slight giggle before her smile turned into a worried frown. Seinaru realized that the woman's eyes had landed on his sword. And only a few types of people went carrying those around in these troubled times.

Most of them right pricks, if you were to wager.

Suffice to say, even drunk, Seinaru could get why the woman was apprehensive all of a sudden. Well, that just wouldn't do. In the corner of his eye, on the ground, he spotted a wicker basket and some vegetables and herbs that had spilled from it as it had fallen from the woman's grasp.

"Aww, now look at what clumsy ol' me's gone and did," Seinaru said with a solemn tone. He corked his drinking bottle and tucked it into the sole pocket on the inside of his clothes, and bend on a knee. Dutifully, he began to pick up and place the vegetables and herbs back into the basket.

"Oh, please, you mustn't-"

"Bother meself on your account, is what ya you're sayin'?"`Seinaru predicted with a slight chuckle as he kept his hands busy. "Lady, ya don't need to speak all timid-like. I'm just a sorry, drunk man, makin' up for bein' himself. 'Sides isn't right for a woman in your condition to get worked up on somethin' so silly."

The basket now filled again, Seinaru stood up, holding it out to the woman. "Some of them's dirty now. Pardon's for that, missy."

"No, it's okay! Really!" The woman yelped, taking the basket and placing it in the crook of her arm.

"If ya say so," Seinaru relented without fuss. "Does a polite lass like yerself have a name?"

"Um, Hikari, sir," the woman said with a slight stutter.

"Hmm, that so?" Seinaru said, rubbing his stubble-ridden chin. "That's a mighty fine name, Hikari-chan~. Got yourself a good hubby?"

"Y-yes! My _husband_ is very kind, sir!" The woman yelped, still seeming a bit on edge if the emphasis on the word husband was any indication.

Did he really come off that way?

"Oh, don't cha worry none, Hikari-chan. Ain't the type to go after a lady who's spoken for," Seinaru said quickly, hoping to sound as sincere as he felt. "No need to call a lout like me 'sir' either. Ain't got a proper bone in this body o' mine."

"N-no! You're... you've been very kind... umm," the woman fumbled.

"Name's Seinaru, if that's what yer wonderin'," he said pleasantly and stepped aside. "Now, you best be on your way. I'm sure you got places to be."

"Ah, yes. Thank you!" The woman gave a bow and walked off, maybe just a bit faster than necessary.

"Oi, oi," Seinaru muttered to himself solemnly. "I ain't some creeper, ya know?" With a sigh, he reached into his clothes and pulled out his bottle. He felt like he really needed it. But as he raised it to drink, Seinaru stalled. In the motion of taking a drink, his gaze was inadvertently drawn to the sky, which was starting to ever so slowly lose its golden luster.

...

He let out a deep sigh and took a very big swig before putting the bottle back where it once was. Then he started walking.

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Hikari let out a breath she'd been half holding, and allowed herself to relax slightly. The encounter with the man so obviously drunk she could smell the sake off of him had rattled her. Just a bit. A part of her admonished herself for being so judgemental. The man had helped her and had been nothing but polite to her.

But, another part retorted, the man had carried a sword in the open, meaning he had to be a ronin, or worse, a bandit. The man certainly didn't appear to be a samurai, so it had to be one of those two. You needed to be wary of those kinds of people.

Nevertheless, Hikari felt some degree of shame for how she'd handled that interaction. It was just... you know...

"Nice sunset we're havin', eh?"

"KYAAAH!" Hikari screamed, almost throwing her basket into the air. She pivoted around, holding the basket between herself and the voice, and wouldn't you know, right behind her stood the very same man from before.

"Hello again, Hikari-chan!" the stranger greeted with a faint grin, seeming to have no care in the world.

"What is wrong with you!" Hikari found herself yelling, before quickly shutting her mouth with her hand. She hadn't meant to yell. That was so improper! So rude! And yet...

"Hehehe," the stranger chuckled warmly. "My, seems like this 'light' ain't all flash, but fire too. Ya gone and impressed me, Hikari-chan."

Hikari flushed at the praise, and sharply turned and walked away. After a few seconds, she could hear steps following her own. She turned her head back. The man was keeping pace, a few steps behind her, still wearing that faint care-free smile.

"W-why are you following me?" Hikari dared to ask.

"Goin' straight to the point, eh?" The stranger chuckled. "Well, just struck me that the day's endin' real soon, and it wouldn't be right for a lass like yerself to walk about all be yer lonesome at night." At this Hikari noted that, yes, the sky was, indeed, starting to grow dark. "So, I thought to act like the gentleman I'm supposed to be, just for ya, this one time."

Hikari's brow furrowed. While the reasoning was... no, Hikari stopped that line of thinking. This man had been nothing but kind so far. Maybe she was just too trusting, but she decided to trust this man's word.

"W-well, that's very kind of you...Seinaru-san?" Hikari said, trying to sound less suspicious and more welcoming.

"That's is the person that is me," Seinaru said, laughing softly at his own joke. Hikari, not quite finding it humorous, gave a stilted pity laugh. Seinaru didn't seem to notice. "So, where's a pretty young lass like ya live?"

"Not far from here," Hikari said, maybe a bit too hastily.

"Sure, sure," Seinaru said distractedly, all of a sudden taking a drink from his bottle. "Hey, care for a driiiii- never mind." Hikari sweatdropped at the man apparently suddenly remembering that she was pregnant. "Oh well, more me~!" And then sweatdropped further when he took an even bigger swig.

The man was... certainly open about his vices.

The two walked for a while in what was undoubtedly one-sidedly awkward silence. Hikari was almost absolutely certain the man didn't share any of her feeling on this matter. Yet, strangely, the more time passed in silence, the more Hikari started to relax, let her guard down.

The man just felt... safe, for lack of a better word.

"Um, Seinaru-san..." Hikari broke the silence.

"Hm?" Was all she got in response. She took it as a sign to continue.

"Could you share... what you're doing here? In this village, I mean," Hikari asked, honestly curious.

"Hmm, what indeed," Seinaru mumbled loud enough for her to hear. "Just passin' through, gettin' somethin' to drink, to be honest. Probably be gone before sunrise."

Hikari looked back, eyebrow raised. "That is all?"

"Aye, that's all," Seinaru stated with a nod. Hikari was somewhat impressed that his speech wasn't slurring too terribly. The man just reeks of alcohol... not that she'd say that to his face. She might be at ease, not stupid. "Got a name ready?"

Hikari stumbled slightly in surprise. "Eh, what?"

"Was just wonderin'. Since I gave ya an answer, seemed fair to ask a question of my own," Seinaru explained. "A bit o' give an' take, see?"

"Oh," Hikari said lamely. "I... suppose that's fine. Sorry, what was the question?"

"Just wonderin' if ya got a name prepared for that kid of yours," Seinaru said. "Ain't any of my business anyhow. Just felt like askin'."

"N-no, it's fine, really!" Hikari assured. It was then that she for the first time actually took the man's appearance in.

Seinaru had strong, defined features, yet radiated a certain warmth. He had noticeable stubble. His black somewhat curly hair was a bit unruly and wild, barely contained in a ponytail. Interspersed around his black mane of hair were numerous streaks of gray, which gave him a certain... aged appeal. And his eyes, she could swear they shone like gold, but that had to be just a trick of the light. Even while flush drunk, Seinaru seemed to radiate this aura... of what, Hikari couldn't place.

All in all, his shabby clothes and sake-smell aside, he was a fairly handsome older man.

"No," Hikari answered the question. "My husband and I haven't... really discussed that, yet."

"Well, that's a shame," Seinaru sighed, sounding disappointed in a joking manner. "Was really lookin' forward to somethin' cute soundin' for a little lass. Like Hisana, or somethin'."

"It could be a boy!" Hikari said, just a tad confrontationally. It was all in jest, though. She then looked thoughtful. "Hmm... Hisana... that _is_ a good name."

"H-hey now! Don't just go listenin' to a drunk fool like meself, Hikari-chan," Seinaru scolded her, though it sounded half-assed. "Namin' yer kid's important. It's not somethin' a bum like me should have a say in."

"Maybe," Hikari admitted. Then gave a cheeky smile. "Still a good name, though."

"Oi quit teasin' me, Hikari-chan," Seinaru sulked, with a visible smile on his face... which quickly fell as he stopped.

"Huh?" Hikari also halted, looking at him. "Seinaru-san?"

Not getting a response, Hikari followed Seinaru's line of sight, and almost dropped her basket for the third time that day. In the distance, running as if their life depended on it straight towards them, was a man. Hikari gasped as she noticed an arrow sticking out of his right shoulder.

"P-please, help!" The man yelled, his face twisted in panic and, no doubt, pain.

"Are you okay?" Hikari asked as the man ran up and stopped by them and instantly moved to support the man's lopsided form. "What happened?"

"B-bandits," the man stuttered, trying to fight through the pain and fear to speak coherently. "H-heading here!"

"What!" That was indeed very grave, very alarming news. Their town was small-ish and had no trained protectors. And an easy target for roaming vagabonds.

"Well, shit." Seinaru vocalized what she was thinking, if crudely. "That ain't good." An understatement.

"Augh... it hurts..." the man hissed, trying not to jostle the arrow in the back of his shoulder.

"It'll be fine. My husband is a healer. He'll help," Hikari assured to the injured man.

"Excuse me," Seinaru spoke, sounding... a lot soberer than he'd sounded before. The tone almost demanded attention. "Where are these bandits comin from?"

"Uh, o-over there!" The man pointed, wincing as he on instinct tried to use his injured arm. "T-they'll be here within minutes."

"Well," Seinaru said, sounding calm, and stepped forward and started walking. "Wouldn't be so sure about that."

"S-Seinaru-san?" Hikari called out to the man.

"Get the man some healin', why don't cha!" Seinaru called back, not turning or stopping his drunken gait. He merely raised a hand in a lazy wave. "Good luck to ya an' yer family, Hikari-chan!"

Hikari watched as the man just walked towards apparent danger, without breaking stride. Then she remembered that she had an injured person in her care and changed her priorities to bringing this man to her husband.

She still spared thought to the strange, if kind, drunkard, and her interactions with him.

It would be the last time she saw him.

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Seinaru's gait was steady. Okay, no, it wasn't, he was still piss drunk, but it didn't really matter. The sun was starting to lower, and within moments it would give way to dark. But Seinaru had something to do before the night took hold.

It wasn't long before his path was to clash with a bunch of no good ne'er-do-wells. So he stopped, took out his sake, took a drink, and waited for them. As they got closer and spotted him, Seinaru had time to assess their numbers. Twenty in total, a relatively small band. Seven had swords, three with bows, even one guy with a _yari_ -spear. The rest had rough, wooden clubs, or nothing at all.

But the big guy up front, who was undoubtedly the leader, had something special. A sword almost as long as he was tall. The lout had somehow got his hands on an _odachi_ of all things.

"Heyo!" Seinaru greeted the lot of them with a lazy wave of the hand and a swig if his sake.

The group stopped when their boss signaled them with an arm movement. A certain level of discipline? _Interesting_.

"You're in the way," the boss said. "Move it, or we'll kill ya." A threat as obvious as they come.

"Wha, me?" Seinaru asked, swaying in place and slurring his speech, playing stupid. "I's jusht a man who likesh his drink, s' all." He took another swig of his sake to prove the point. He stumbled out of the way of an arrow that whirred past his head. "Heeeey, tha's a fast birdy!"

"Tch," the boss sneered. "We don't got time for this. Beat him up, and then we'll sack that village."

"... Ah, yeah. About that." Immediately the air changed in feel. Even the bandit leader could sense the shift as Seinaru's voice gained sudden clarity. "See, that won't happen."

"... 'Scuse me?" The leader asked, now alert.

"You got ears, don't you?" Seinaru intoned, tone chillingly cold and clear. "You won't touch that village. I'll make sure of that."

The leader seemed to find the statement hilarious. "Hahaha! What, you, some drunk bastard? Against all my boys here! That's the funniest thing I've heard all month!" With that, the rest of his goons joined in the mocking laughter.

Seinaru, stood unaffected. He sloshed his sake bottle by his ear, gauging its fullness.

"You ever wonder where the answer to life's mysteries lies?" He asked, loudly enough to be heard over the mockery flung his way.

The bandit leader stopped laughing, and his goons followed suit.

"The hell's that mean?"

"Right, forgot what kind of people I was dealing with," Seinaru sighed. "For some people, the answer to life's mysteries lies in a profound understanding of others. For some, it's understanding in themselves. Some fancy that it's in the sword, or maybe on a petal of a wildflower. Why, some say that there is no answer at all! Isn't that quite something?

"Wanna know what I think?"

The leader growled, drawing his odachi, his goons also prepping their respective weapons. "I want your annoying ass dead."

Seinaru shrugged and then downed the rest of his sake in one go. After finishing, he looked at the now empty bottle in his hand. "Me, I'm the kind of guy who looks for answers at the bottom of the bottle," Seinaru said solemnly.

With a point of a blade and a grunt from their boss, three goons, one with a sword and two with clubs rushed the drunk man.

It happened within seconds.

The bottle flew skywards, a hand reached for a blade, and in a flash of metal in the descending sun's light, the sword-wielding bandit fell to the ground with a gurgle, another fell without a leg to stand with and the third stood with a blade through their throat. The blade was released, the falling bottle caught, and thrown with force and precision, shattering in one of the archer's faces, who fell to their knees, clutching their now bleeding eyes.

This all happened within one, continuous motion, one movement flowing smoothly into the next, like water.

The bandits took a step back, shock being an understatement to what they felt right that second. Only the leader regained his wits, growing very wary. "The hell..."

Seinaru stood there, swaying lightly in place, a drunken haze starting to cloud his eyes. "But ya see, there are no answers at the bottom of the bottle. It's just something ya partake fer fun. The true answer to life's to live life like ya mean it!" He raised his voice, almost shouting the last part. Blood dripped down his blade, which upon closer inspection, wasn't that high-quality and seemed quite beaten-up.

"Sleep, eat, drink. All those are just some of life's little pleasures," Seinaru spoke, his tone darkly jovial. "And ain't there quite the pleasure in life as fightin', wouldn't ya say?"

"Y-you dare to kill my men! I'll kill you!"

"Oh, yes," Seinaru took a wide, very unorthodox stance, lazily holding his blade in his right hand as he swayed in place. He cracked a quite wicked looking grin. "That'd make this fun, now wouldn't it?"

"Y-you're crazy!" One of the goons yelled.

"...Crazy, eh?" The drunken ronin spoke in a low-tone, through his alcohol clouded mind. Then he laughed darkly, yet softly, his mouth turning into a toothy grin. "Then ya'll won't mind facin' me, Sakenomi Seinaru, like the big, bad bandits ya'll 'sposed to be!"

In a burst of movement, Seinaru charged the bandits, blade ready and thirsty for blood.

And then he blacked out.

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Seinaru awoke suddenly, as if from a dream. The sky was bright and very blue. He saw clouds and felt grass beneath him. It was day-time, and for some reason, Seinaru wondered, for the first time in his life: _'Where's the hangover? There should be a hangover worth committing seppuku over right now. Where is it?'_

... Also, what happened last night? He was sure he got absolutely plastered before... before what? What the hell was he doing? Seinaru- and that was his name, he was sure of that -tried to remember, only to be dismayed that he recalled alarmingly little.

"... How much did I drink?" He asked as if it was the most natural question in the world. The clouds above offered no answer, so for minutes he just... lied there. In the grass. Doing nothing.

...

...

...

"Could go for some sake right now," He said to himself, again, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

 **To Be continued...** **  
**

* * *

 _ **Well, this is a thing. The things you do when you're driven into a corner, where your creative self-pity coalesces into horrible, monstrous ideas. Some of them dare dream of being feasible and good.**_

 _ **This is one of those.**_

 _ **That feel when you die while being blackout drunk. Truly a graceful way to go.**_

 _ **Tackling Bleach of all things will certainly be... something. Especially with an original character like this... what have I done?**_

 _ **Welcome... to Drunk Souls.**_

 _ **-C-Hablerie**_


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1: Sobriety Is Overrated!**

As comfortable as lying motionless in the grass was, not one to prolong a state of clear-headedness for long, Seinaru had no choice but to actually address the absolutely massive gap in his memory. A considerable connoisseur of alcohol- a veritable master at his craft -this was not much of an uncommon occurrence.

Yet, this time felt... definitively different.

Trying to think back to his life was like trying to see clearly through a window that had fogged over. It was very... well, he wasn't petty enough to call it annoying, but it was disconcerting.

No amount of sake could cause that much loss of memory. Or, at least, he thought so. And that was the lynchpin of it all. He could clearly remember drinking.

Lots, and lots of drinking. An unhealthy amount of drinking.

And with those memories of drinking, there was context. A memory of nigh-constant intoxication brought forth associated memories. Yes, the irony was clear and doubtlessly riveting. Seinaru even laughed.

Alcohol bringing back memories? Now there was a funny joke!

With a labored groan, Seinaru pushed himself onto his feet and finally took a gander at his surroundings. At first glance all he saw were trees. So he'd passed out in the forest? That's strange. From what he could recall, the village he'd been to last wasn't near any woods.

It was the... the place where... he'd met... someone. Seinaru was dead certain that, while the town's name escaped him, he had some small connection to it. A... person. No name came to him, however. He looked up and was almost blinded as he stared at the sun's light.

"Wait," Seinaru mumbled, scratching his stubble. "Wait, wait, wait. That thought just rang a bell. Sun? No, not that. Light?" A light flashed in his golden eyes as he pounded his fist into his palm. "Hikari! That's the lass' name!"

He started peacing his scattered memory together, at least of the immediate events before... well, waking up. The town he'd passed through, the sake he'd had in what he considered moderation, the young lass he'd bumped into... And then...

"That's right," Seinaru mumbled, as it all came back. "Was rearin' up to fight those bandits. Must've blacked out soon after." Mostly due to how the, quite literal, _nothing_ that followed the memory. Then he frowned. "What the hell happened after? Where-"

His words halted as he turned around. What noted was that he was standing on a small hill, but that almost didn't register. What did, was that before his eyes was a town- no- a massive city-scape. It stretched as far as Seinaru could see, and looked... well, not that unusual from the usual village he'd stopped by, except for the frankly ridiculous scope of it all. In the far-far distance, he could see a greater structure, but it was barely a footnote in his thought process.

"..." Seinaru stared forward, only his shock keeping his jaw firmly shut and off the ground. He rubbed the bridge of his nose in dismay "... What the hell did I do last night?"

His fingers stopped. Feeling his face, it became clear to him that he had some scars he didn't recall having before. Tracing it, he felt that he had a scar starting from his forehead, near his hairline and veering down left his face in a slight curve towards his chin, where it ended.

"Crap, that's really close to the eye," Seinaru noted, frowning. He was no stranger to scars, but this was new. Meaning that... "So those bandits did get me somewhat. But this has healed too well for a single night. Should still be raw. Don't feel any blood anywhere, either."

He gave himself a once over, now noticing that instead of his, while ratty and worn, but still comfortable clothes, he was instead dressed in brown rags that just managed to have some modesty, but not much else. No blood on them, or himself, not a single drop. More alarmingly, his sword and all his meager possessions were gone.

"... I was robbed too?! You've gotta be kiddin' me!" Seinaru growled. Safe to say, he was somewhat nettled.

Having clarity, unfortunately, meant that Seinaru realized that getting angry about this would serve him little. So instead he just groaned deeply. He was somewhere he clearly didn't know, bereft of all that he could consider his, and perhaps most unforgivably, he was stone cold sober with no alcohol to be in sight.

Yes, a sober Seinaru- aside from being downright unnatural -was _very_ nettled.

"Oi, oi. Gimme a break," he muttered irritably. Still, he was looking at... a lot of habitation. An inordinate amount. Someone was bound to have some answers for him. "Well, no time like the present, I s'pose," he groused, starting to walk at a moderate pace. "No use standin' here with thumbs up my arse."

The walk to reach the edge of the settlements was... longer than Seinaru had predicted. Either it spoke to his disorientation, or the settlement was just way bigger than he'd actually thought and he was just really far away.

Nevertheless, upon reaching the settlement, he first saw that it was... more or less what he was used to, actually. A village, not quite a slum, but it was close. Not necessarily the best way to live, but it worked to an extent. Not one to have many comforts in his life, the place fit all Seinaru's criteria for 'I can deal with this'.

He could see some people just ahead, chatting amongst themselves. A good place to start as any.

"Excuse me, gentlemen," Seinaru said conversationally. As he neared the group of four men in a care-free gait, he noted that they looked a bit... thuggish. "Hope I'm not intrudin'."

One of the men, a real ogre of a man with an eyepatch, spat on the ground, arms crossed over his bulky chest. "Who the hell're you?" There was a large _tetsubo_ leaning on the wall of the building next to him. It also only now came to Seinaru's understanding that he stood in a narrow alley, with four men of questionable morality before him.

This, Seinaru thought, might have been a mistake.

"Oh, ol' me? Ain't no one special," Seinaru replied, much more casual than he was, trying to seem non-threatening. He pointed a thumb behind himself. "Just woke up over yonder a while back. Was wonderin' if ya lads could tell me where I am."

For a moment, he gained no reply, and Seinaru had the mind to grow somewhat nervous. Then the large, ogre-like man chuckled, followed by his three pals. It was very overtly ominous sounding.

"Hear that, fellas?" The Ogre said with amusement that Seinaru registered as hostile. "We got a fresh one, right here!"

"Sure looks like it, boss," One of the three agreed. A bald man with teeth like a rat, and eyes just as shifty. Seinaru spotted a poorly hidden knife in his clothes.

"What should we do with this one, boss?" asked another. Face only a mother could love, and missing more than a few teeth. The man had a wooden training sword loosely hanging on his hip.

"Tch, doesn't seem like he's got anything worth taking on him," noted another, in a soft, but cold voice, eyeing Seinaru up and down carefully. A young man, but this one actually seemed to be worth some notice. He didn't look nearly as forgettable as the other two. His wild hair was stark white, and his head was shaved on the left side. He had unusually pale skin, almost pure white, and pink eyes, the right eye being partially covered by his hair. Quite eye-catching. In the sash tied to his waist were two _kama_ -sickles of decent condition. His pale blue robes seemed to be in considerably better condition than the three others'.

Out of all of them, aside from the Ogre-man, only the pale one seemed like a serious threat.

"What we'll do, is set the record straight!" The Ogre-man growled, picking up his tetsubo and hoisting the stubbed iron club onto his shoulder. Seinaru had to admit, the man cut an imposing figure. "Yer a new guy, and you're on my turf. So you do what I say. Got that?"

"Right, right," Seinaru nodded along with a faint smile. "See, that doesn't answer my-"

When a large, strong hand grabbed hold of his rags and hoisted him off the ground, he knew he'd said the wrong thing.

"You talkin' back to me, you pipsqueak!" The Ogre shouted in his face, clearly as means of intimidation. Seinaru was more concerned and annoyed by the spittle flying on his face.

"Ohh, you shouldn't have done that," Rat giggled maliciously.

"No one talks back to Boss Gorou!" No-Teeth said with a wide grin that too clearly showed his dental deficiencies.

The last one, Seinaru noted, said nothing, just observed.

Things were, as they say, not going to plan. Of course, Seinaru had no plan, to begin with, so the point was rather moot. He just closed his eyes and sighed deeply.

"Hey, you listenin' to me ya worm! I'll-" The Ogre-man couldn't finish what he was about to say as Seinaru took advantage of the large man's grip to elevate himself and shove both his bare feet at his face in what was essentially a stationary dive kick. He expected the Ogre to let go of him in reaction.

What he wasn't expecting was that the kick sent the Ogre-man flying back, and as the alley was narrow, straight into the three goons of his. The four were airborne for almost two seconds and covered at least six meters of distance before they all landed in a heap under the Ogre, on the other side of the street.

As for Seinaru, he fell flat on his back. Under normal circumstance, he probably could've readjusted himself mid-fall, but the kick had really thrown him off.

"... What the hell." The statement was as blank and befuddled as his face. Very. But he brushed it off and got off the dirt and stepped out of the alley. First off, he saw more people, all dressed either similarly, or slightly better than himself. All of them seemed to have stopped everything they'd been doing to stare wide-eyed at the four thugs that suddenly flew out of an alley, and quickly transitioned on to Seinaru himself, who stood there, cool as the first day of winter.

The big Ogre-man got off of his lackeys with a grunt, seeming to not care for their pained moans, and not so subtly spit out a tooth. "Ya bitch!"

Seinaru blinked and looked around and behind himself. "... Oh, right. Sorry, but I'm not a woman," He said, giving the man a half-hearted, one-handed prayer. "My condolences for yer eyesight."

He could hear the people around the area gasping at his clear mockery. They looked... very concerned. The Ogre, on the other hand, was shaking with rage.

"You..."

"Me!" Seinaru said with a winning smile, making the Ogre's face start to go very red.

"Who is that man?" Someone from the onlookers asked.

"He seems new," One noted.

"Oi, oi! Is he seriously egging Gorou on?!" Another piped up. "This is bad..."

The three lackeys all managed to untangle themselves and stood behind their boss.

"You done fucked up now!" No-Teeth snarled, holding his wooden sword.

"You got some nerve, standing up to Boss Gorou!" Rat said, pulling out a rather dingy looking knife.

The pale man said nothing, simply holding his two kama ready.

The Ogre seethed. "You... You got me off guard before. I'm givin' you one shot! Kneel and accept yer beatin', and I might let you live."

Seinaru, for his part, stroked his chin thoughtfully.

"H-hey, he isn't actually gonna fight Gorou's gang, right?" One onlooker asked.

"What! No way! That's, like, impossible!" Another stammered.

"Come on, whoever that guy is, he can't be that stupid." Said another.

"Nah, let's fight!" Seinaru piped up, smiling carelessly.

"EEEEEEHHH!" The entire crowd of onlookers shouted, gawking at Seinaru as if he was insane.

The Ogre-man sneered and spit onto the ground. "I'm gonna beat you to mulch, bastard"

Seinaru, too busy cleaning out his ear from the loud yelling earlier, took a second to realize he was being addressed. "Huh? Oh, yeah. Yer still here. Funny, mugs that ugly are usually hard to forget."

He could see a vein violently pop up on the large man's already very red face, as he charged Seinaru like a crazed animal. What to a normal man would be quite a frightening prospect just made Seinaru cracked a smile, _'Man, goading this guy is fun!'_

Seinaru had no reason to fear a man who massively out-sized and out-weighed him, and was armed with a heavy hitting metal bat against his nothing. In fact, seeming to forget he even had a weapon, the ogre of a man tried instead to tackle into him in his rage.

Seinaru simply waited till the last second, stepped to the side a bit and used his leg to trip the Ogre up, not only causing him to lose his balance but rather humorously faceplanted his face into his kanebo.

"Hehe, that's what you get for mindlessly rushing in," Seinaru chuckled as his elbow snapped backward, striking Rat in the throat as he'd tried to sneak up and get a drop on him. Quite predictably, the Rat dropped the knife he was holding and clutched his throat while trying to breathe, leaving ample time for Seinaru to smash his skull onto the Rat's mug. The lackey fell down, unconscious and with a broken nose.

"Nezumi! You bastard!" No-Teeth yelled out as he jumped at Seinaru and tried to strike him with his wooden sword. The man just sighed ruefully, and slapped his palms on the sides of the wooden blade, wrested it easily from No-Teeth's grasp, and with a quick spin around, jammed it forcefully into his gut. The man lost his breath and too got a skull smashed onto his mug, falling down to join his pal.

"Good grief," Seinaru groaned, dropping the wooden _toy_ to the ground, just standing there and cracking his neck. "And here I was lookin' forward to a fight. Now I just feel like a bully."

"Impressive." Seinaru looked at the last lackey standing. While the two others had just charged in, he seemed to just stand back and observe. "You're clearly more capable than we anticipated."

"Yer pals ain't too bright, huh?" Seinaru noted, willingly ignoring the lumbering Ogre groaning as he got up behind him.

"Nezumi and Mudana are fools," The pale man admitted, his tone cold. "They are but weak leeches that rely on Gorou-sama and me to get anywhere in the world. Let this be a lesson for their folly."

 _'THOSE ARE ACTUALLY THEIR NAMES?!'_ Seinaru mentally screamed. _'Who the hell names their kids 'Rat' and 'Toothless' with such precognitive accuracy?!'_

Hiding his shocked dismay, Seinaru quirked a brow at the man's seeming disregard of his ' _allies'_ (because clearly there was no friendship here). The man's stance was loose, relaxed, but to an experienced fighter like Seinaru, he could see beneath that. The pale man was alert and ready to act in a moments notice.

He was pleasantly surprised. Some actual goddamn discipline!

"Awai!" Oh, right, the Ogre's still there. Seinaru almost forgot. The large man stood right behind him, he could smell the stench of bad breath "Help me gut this bastard like the rat he-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

"Silence in the bean council," Seinaru droned out as he withdrew his foot from the Ogre's groin. The large man fell onto his knees, holding his eviscerated jewels, as Seinaru shared something special with him that he could talk to his goons about.

Namely a firm skull to face treatment.

The difference was that this time it actually hurt. "Holy crap, that feller's skull is thick! No wonder he's so dull," Seinaru hissed, rubbing his slightly aching forehead. He really needed to stop doing that.

"Y-y-you-" The pale man gawked at him in disbelief.

"HE DID IT! HE KNOCKED HIM OUT?!" The crowd yelled out in unified disbelief.

"I- did Gorou the Ogre just lose?!" Someone exclaimed.

 _'Fucking seriously! Am I a seer or some crap?!'_ Seinaru thought.

"And it seemed effortless!" A man pointed out in shock.

"So cool," some women swooned.

"Y... You..." The pale man trembled in a cold fury, brandishing his kama. "Have you no honor?!"

"No, not really," Seinaru admitted without even an ounce of shame. "Was a weakling anyway. What I'm wonderin' now," he lazily pointed at the pale man, "is why's someone so clearly talented like you following around some dullard like that?"

"My reasons don't concern you, stranger," the kama-wielder hissed through gritted teeth, anger clear on his features. "I'll make you regret what you've done today!"

"Further provin' my point," Seinaru continued, seeming unconcerned. "Yer clearly confident in your skills. You've been observin' me carefully since the start, so ya obviously still feel like you could take me. Either you're overconfident, or as good as you claim ya are." He blinked, looking at the three unconscious men around him. "Though that isn't a high bar right now."

"Cease your tongue!"

"What's yer name, kid?"

"..." The young man actually seemed somewhat taken aback by the request, but it showed only briefly in his eyes. "Awai. Tsukiakari Awai." Awai lowered his body, taking a wider stance, kamas ready for battle. "It will be the last thing you hear..."

"A fine name, that," Seinaru said with an approving bob of the head. "Sakenomi Seinaru. A pleasure to clash with you."

Awai's expression flickered for a second, seeming to not know what to do with genuine-sounding praise.

Seinaru, looked at the ground, spotting the wooden sword No-Teeth had close by. He walked over and kicked it up and grabbed it skillfully out of the air. He gave it a practice swing to gauge the weight. It might be a glorified toy, but even he wasn't insane or stupid enough to go against a man armed with two kama unarmed. Nodding, in acceptance if not approval, he turned to the sickle-wielder.

"Alright, Tsukiakari-san," Seinaru spoke up, taking a low, wide stance, lazily holding the wooden practice sword in his right hand. "Let's see if it's hubris driving yah, eh?"

Awai's eyes narrowed, analyzing this stranger's odd stance. For a tense moment, no words were spared, no sounds were uttered, and silence reigned.

And then Awai charged.

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 _ **[About a minute or so later...]**_

"An' to the victor go the spoils!" Seinaru cheered lightly, finishing retying the sash to his new clothes, which he'd nicked off of the Ogre. For the large brute they'd been a bit small, but for him, the robes were downright oversized. Not that he cared for such minor details. It was better than the rags he'd started with, so why not?

Although...

Seinaru gave the new simple dark brown robes brief sniff. "Eugh," he grimaced in disgust. "Some spoils alright..." But you took what you could. Not like his old clothes hadn't reeked after a while.

He had also nicked a pair of wooden _geta_ -sandals from No-Tooth. He'd always loved how those clack on hard surfaces. He considered taking one of the available weapons but shot that thought down. A tetsubo was not his style, the kama just didn't speak to him in any way, and there was no reason to even spare thought to the _toy_ blade. He was a swordsman, not a child.

He did take Rat's knife though. Upon a closer look, the quality was barely passable, and the blade seemed slightly dull. It wasn't much, but he could imagine uses for it. If he got his hands on a whetstone, he could make something of it.

Giving his neck one final crack to relieve some minor tension, he casually approached two of the onlookers still gawking at him. It was _complete coincidence_ that both of them just happened to be fairly attractive young ladies.

"Ah, 'scuse me!" He called kindly out as he approached the fine women with a warm grin. "If a lout like meself could ask to use up some time of you pretty lasses, I'd be oh so grateful."

"O-oh, it's no trouble, really," One of the women, who had wavy shoulder-length brown hair, stammered.

"Y-yeah, no trouble at all," the other woman, a black-haired woman who wore her hair in a short ponytail, affirmed with a short shake of her head.

Both were somewhat in awe at the man who had just handily beaten four local menaces with little effort, and understandably a bit nervous to be the center of his attention. But even so...

 _'So cool~,'_ both women swooned internally.

"Oh," Seinaru gave the two a charming, sincere smile, "it warms me ol' heart to see tha' your beauty is only rivaled by ya kindness."

Both women felt their cheeks warm and redden as they looked at a face that positively radiated warmth. On the inside, their reaction was far less dignified.

 _'HE'S SO HANDSOME!'_

So distracted by their internal fangirling about Seinaru's aged charms, they remained completely oblivious to Seinaru's gaze as he methodically scanned the both of them, top to bottom, with specific attention given to the hip and chest area.

Old habits die hard, and some are just much too fun to break.

"Well, see," Seinaru started, gingerly rubbing his neck, "I'm new to these parts, an' ya two lovely ladies seemed real friendly. I'm feelin' a bit lost, see, an' was wonderin' if an ol' fox like me could ask ya some things."

The women's eyes sparkled slightly. _'S-surprisingly cute!'_

"Yes!" Brunette exclaimed.

"We'd be glad to help!" Ponytail stated with passion.

"You can ask us anything!" Brunette affirmed strongly.

Inwardly, Seinaru gave a cheeky grin. _'Still got it!'_

"Oh, thank ya!" Seinaru cheered enthusiastically. With movements smooth as butter, he'd scooped a woman under each of his arms in a light embrace, subtly leading all of them off. "I'm mighty curious, an' know so little. I'll leave meself in your care, ladies." He flashed the pair under his arms a blinding smile. "Please, take care of me."

Cheeks flushed a deep red, both carried on with a content smile. _'S-S-SUCH CHARM!'_

The trio moved on their merry way, lightly chatting as they went on, leaving behind a heavily whispering crowd, three knocked out thugs with broken noses, and the very pale young man whose behind pointed skywards and whose head was firmly planted into the ground.

"Name's Seinaru, by the way. I'm quite interested to learn of such lovely company. Now, what do I call ya darlings?"

 **XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

 _ **[The day after...]**_

Barely listening to the light sound of bustling people and hushed whispers amongst conversing parties, Seinaru was seated on a crude bench and very deep in thought. Yesterday had yielded a myriad of information, for which the two fetching informants were _thoroughly rewarded_ and left quite satisfied.

Man, what a good night!

Still, certain revelations weighed heavily on his mind.

He was dead.

He was dead and in the Afterlife. A place called Soul Society. More specifically, he was in the 55th district of East Rukongai. A meager quarter of massive mega-settlement surrounding a place called the Seireitei. Every four quarters had 80 districts. The number of souls in this place boggled the mind.

Seinaru was one such soul, though apparently somewhat different.

Apparently losing one's memories of their life was normal. Seinaru's own memories seemed to be a bit of an irregularity, but even he had massive gaps in what he remembered.

All of which brought up a certain fact. Specifically that he'd been killed while he'd been blackout drunk. And since the last thing he remembered was an eminent, inevitable battle...

"I swear, if I got got by some soddin' bandits trash, I deserved to die," Seinaru grunted in what was a mix of disappointment and dissatisfaction. Sakenomi Seinaru was a man of many facets, one of which was a proud fighter. To be felled by such lowly foes was a massive disgrace.

Must've been a lucky shot, nothing but a fluke. Or so he told himself.

Yes, there was a lot on Seinaru's mind alright. But despite every other shocking revelation, one simple fact managed to somehow be much, much worse.

He was still stone cold sober. For the second day in a row. The mere thought of such seemed obscene and was an absolutely unforgivable crime against nature. He didn't know how much longer he could go on before going a bit crazy. And he didn't have any money whatsoever(what the dead even need money for, he couldn't be bothered to guess).

Damnit all! If this kept up, he'd swallow up any hesitation about stealing to get his fix. He didn't like being the bad guy, but if he had to.

"Hey! You!"

The sudden exclamation nearby managed to break Seinaru out of his rapidly darkening mood and diverted his attention. There, not far from where he was sat, walking resolutely in his direction, was the pale albino from yesterday. The sharpness of the glare he was shooting the unfortunately sober drunk did not bode well.

"Ah, Tsukiakari-san!" Seinaru casually greeted the pale youngster, as if the beatdown yesterday hadn't even happened. "How ya doin' this fine morning?"

The pale man walked up to him in a stilted manner, his body showcasing unusual stiffness, and stopped right in front of him, just a few steps away. His glare looked like it could burn something to cinders. Subtly, Seinaru sighed and tensed his body, ready for any appropriate action to come.

Then Tsukiakari was down on all fours faster than Seinaru could realize, head bowed deeply, almost touching the dirt beneath him. Seinaru could only stare incredulously, truly not expecting the young man he beat down yesterday to perform _dogeza_ to _him_ of all people.

"PLEASE TEACH ME!" The pale youth forcefully screamed at the top of his lungs.

... Okay, out of all the ways he'd predicted this to go, this was not one he'd even humored.

"Uhhhhh..." Seinaru responded intelligently, his brain playing catch-up.

"I underestimated you greatly! I was blinded by arrogance and complacency! I prided myself as strong, but you showed me how weak I still am!" The albino spoke passionately, head still bowed.

"H-hey, Awai-san..." Seinaru tried to cut in, growing just a bit uncomfortable at the young man's words.

"I want to be strong! And I can't see any other way to find that strength than from someone even stronger. Someone like-"

"OI!" Seinaru snapped(read: strongly whined), whacking the lad firmly on the head with his geta. "Get up already! This is real embarrassin', ya know!"

Awai slowly and hesitantly stood up, rubbing the back of his half-shaved head. As he did so, something incredibly small and easily missable happened upon Seinaru's sharp gaze for just a moment. Without saying a thing, Seinaru just put his geta back on his foot, before giving the albino his attention.

"Now, care to repeat yerself?" Seinaru asked. "With less yellin', if you could."

Awai closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath as if bracing themselves. It came to Seinaru that the young lad was swallowing a great degree of pride right then and there.

"After you bested me the day before, I reflected on my own goals and aspirations," Awai started evenly. "I realized, that in these times, I'd grown too proud, too complacent. I allowed myself to stagnate in body and mind. Yesterday, you, Sakenomi Seinaru, showed me just how wrong I was."

"Uhh..." Seinaru was at a bit of a loss. He hadn't really been in this kind of situation before. "Am I really that impressive?"

"How could you ask that?!" Awai snapped, as if personally offended. "I've been in the Rukongai for decades now, and not once have I felt such spiritual power from a soul that wasn't a shinigami!"

"Spiritual power?" Seinaru voiced his confusion.

"...Right. You're still very new here," Awai sighed. "I apologize for snapping like that. Basically, spiritual power is how much energy your soul contains. Possessing great amounts can increase ones physical capabilities by a considerable margin. I myself have a higher than average amount of it, nothing compared to yours, of course."

"... Huh," Seinaru voiced. Looking at his hand, flexing it, and thinking back, the explanation made sense. "I did use an amount of strength I wasn't used to, back there with ya lot. Was hard to tell though, since ya'll were so weak."

"..." Awai's fully visible eye twitched and a vein popped on his forehead, but he quickly took a calming breath. "Harsh. But not untrue."

Seinaru turned his attention back to the lad. "So, what's this about trainin' ya?"

At the question, Awai's demeanor suffered a complete shift, all of a sudden seeming quite bashful. "W-well... since I was bested by someone so strong, I figured that the best way to get strong myself was to learn from this person. I thought Gogou could give me that, but I guess I was wrong..."

Seinaru squinted his eyes, just slightly. Certain suspicions were forming in his head.

"Wouldn't call what I used to beat ya strength, but whatever," Seinaru muttered. "An' how do I know this ain't some weird revenge scheme or somesuch?"

Again, Awai seemed affronted for a moment, before deflating. "I... suppose my first impression wasn't... the finest. I was a thug, tis' true. But I... like to think myself a man of honor. Maybe I'm not, but..." He schooled his features and put on a resolute look. "I... I swear to you, I'm sincere in my request and a man of my word! I would not try such a deception!"

"Mhm." Nodding absently, Seinaru waved with his left hand. "C'mere."

Quirking a brow, Awai took a step closer, standing within an arm's reach of the older man, trying to be as casual a possible about this whole thing.

Then Seinaru's hand was suddenly on his chest. Awai looked down at it. Seinaru was looking at him.

The moment lingered for a few _very_ awkward seconds.

Awai suddenly shot back. "W-what the hell are you-!"

Seinaru was upon him before he could finish, both hands grasping at Awai's pale blue robe and sliding it down. His perceptive gaze had not lied to him, as he gazed at the bandages tied tightly around Awai's chest. Also revealed to him now were certain curves about the waist which the robe normally would have masked.

" _Sarashi_ , huh?" Seinaru noted, dryly, letting go of Awai and sitting back down. "You know, for a man of your word, ya sure seem to have tits."

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Awai yelled, an arm shooting to cover his, or rather, _her_ chest(covered as it already was) while hastily pulling her robes back up.

"Oh, confirmin' some suspicions," Seinaru said in his usual carefree manner. "So, why'd ya go and try to trick me like that, Awai-chan?"

Awai visibly glowered at the cute honorific. She opened her mouth to no doubt angrily retort.

"Trick question, 'course I know!" Seinaru cut any of that off, completely shifting gears from silly to serious. Awai narrowed her eyes at him. "Wasn't born yesterday, ya know. I know what can happen to a lady in these kinds of neighborhoods." He paused to think. "Given yer previous company, I more than get it."

Awai glared at him before crossing her arms in a huff. "Ain't a damn lady..."

"Aww, are ya sulkin' Awai-chan?" Seinaru teased. He deftly leaned out of the way of a punch aimed at his head and near effortlessly kicked the feet from under Awai. All without moving from his seat.

"Oof!" Awai yelped as she bit the dirt.

"Lesson number one: Never let yer enemy goad ya. When ya get mad, ya get dumb," Seinaru said in a jokingly lecturing tone.

"... You'd still teach me?" Awai asked and looked up from the ground, in a timid way that seemed quite out of character for her. "Even if I'm a..."

"Ain't said that," Seinaru noted. "Still, you think Gozen Tomoe let that be an obstacle to bein' a strong warrior?"

Awai gave Seinaru a blank stare. "I... don't know who that is."

"... Oh, right," Seinaru admitted, recalling the whole forgetting their lives thing. "... Come to think of it how the hell do I... never mind," he shook his head. "Anyway," his tone turned from casual to severe in a flash, "I got one thing I'm gonna ask ya."

Despite herself, Awai gulped nervously as she was stared down by a man bounds stronger than herself. "W-what is it?"

All of a sudden the man's gaze seemed almost suffocating. For a moment Awai even thought she might be affected by his spiritual pressure, before concluding that, no, his stable glare was simply making her feel that small.

"Do you, "Seinaru asked with absolute seriousness, "know where to get me some sake?"

And like that, all that suffocating tension vanished from Awai's system. Completely evaporated, like her facade of masculinity just moments ago, only to be replaced by confusion unparalleled in her entire lifetime. That she remembered, anyway.

"Uh... wha-"

"Do you?!" Seinaru repeated, now demanding an answer.

"Yes, YES!" the albino yelped in a sudden bout of confused fright.

"Right-o!" the older man cheered, returning to his lighter self as he jumped up to stand over Awai, who just remembered she was still on the ground. "You got yerself a deal!"

He offered her a hand, which she hesitated taking only for two seconds. This... actually worked out pretty good, all things considered.

Clasping her hand strongly, Seinaru's smiled. "We'll start yer trainin' immediately, Awai-chan~." And looking up at him, to Awai, his smile seemed far less benign and comforting than it had before. It almost seemed... menacing.

All of a sudden a shiver ran up her spine, and she had second thoughts.

 _ **To Be Continued...**_

* * *

 _ **And here it is! The REAL start of the tale of our alcoholic protagonist and his new albinistic apprentice. Because while defeat doesn't**_ **always** _ **mean friendship, it sure can mean something! It'll be fun to discover and develop this relationship.**_

 _ **Seems to be off on an interesting, if weird, start. People start the whole mentor-thing with one-sided groping, right?**_

 _ **Right?!**_

 _ **-C-Hablerie**_


End file.
